/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

Year:

Only show posts with narrations

My wife and dog have suddenly gone missing!

228 upvotes

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Just found out my wife is cheating

224 upvotes

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Every piece of labor has its reward, for instance, I cheated on a test and got an A.

222 upvotes

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The wounded captain stared up at me as he tried on his new Eyepatch. Why did you gouge it out?? I said

217 upvotes

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Sometimes I tell dad jokes,

215 upvotes

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Why is it called a birth defect...

213 upvotes

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If there was one thing Gary feared it was dying on the toilet, and so he took massive amounts of Imodium to prevent him defecating.

202 upvotes

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As an enthusiastic stamp collector, I was horrified when my ex-wife took them all in the divorce.

198 upvotes

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My finger hovered over the "delete" button as I re-read the 10th failed confession of love I had emailed to my crush that night.

191 upvotes

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I’m out all hours of the day!

179 upvotes

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
My wife and dog have suddenly gone missing!	228
Just found out my wife is cheating	224
Every piece of labor has its reward, for instance, I cheated on a test and got an A.	222
The wounded captain stared up at me as he tried on his new Eyepatch. Why did you gouge it out?? I said	217
Sometimes I tell dad jokes,	215
Why is it called a birth defect...	213
If there was one thing Gary feared it was dying on the toilet, and so he took massive amounts of Imodium to prevent him defecating.	202
As an enthusiastic stamp collector, I was horrified when my ex-wife took them all in the divorce.	198
My finger hovered over the "delete" button as I re-read the 10th failed confession of love I had emailed to my crush that night.	191
I’m out all hours of the day!	179